So, I started planning a veg In-And-Out burger cookout on Wednesday - after reading this obscenely awesome article by the venerable Kenji over at SeriousEats. Me and half the nation, ya, I know.
The question wasn't whether it was gonna taste good - caramelized onions + gov't cheese + mustard + double soy patties =/= bad. The gamble was on whether we could make it work with a grill - In-And-Out fries their boigas. Solution - treat 'em like wings - baste them with a mixture of butter and mustard while they grill to get that mustard-fried flavor (I mean, we're already in heart-attack land, might as well storm Instant Coronary Castle). It worked beautifully - bright yellow, slightly crunchy crusts on each patty. Hell yeah.
Seems the keys to the castle were a couple of things:
Patiently caramelized onions. Like, 40 minutes, start to finish. Pretend like you're making French Onion Soup like Julia does (no, not me, silly!).
Half mustard. Half butter. Melt, stir, brush brush brush brush. You can also stick all your patties in a dish and marinate while your coals get ready.
We used Boca's. Morningstars would work fine. Keep it firm tho - none of that Dr Praeger's crap.
Once we had gray, we stuck all 12 patties on at once (enough for 6 burgers). 4 minutes later (approx - there were copious amounts of beer involved) they were brown and crusty. Flip.
Now for the mess. Spoon a tablespoon (or two. or three!) of onion onto each patty. Top with two slices of cheese. Then, top with another burger.
Let the cheese melt. Quick! Grab your buns and give 'em a quick toast. Then layer: spread, pickles (4-5 dill slices), burger, lettuce, tomato (2 slices please!), more spread. Squish. Eat!
Someone made awesome mac n cheese to, you know, make sure we all had our daily butterfat intake.
Someone else got the cheesy onions that kept falling off everybody's sammiches. There's glee in them eyes.
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