So you say chocolate is your favorite?

Are you sure? Super sure? 100% on that?

A couple of days ago was my cuz's birthday, and while she's a devout fan of all things choco (and waaay across the country for me, which proved disastrous for my intestines, wait for it) I decided to make her a cake.

You know how I'm obsessed with taking foods that are normally presented in a portable manner and cakifying them. Well maybe not quite obsessed yet but I'm getting close. This one was killer - iced with hot sauce and hummus, delicious and messy.

And since I'm ALL ABOUT a day old, been in the fridge for a bit falafel, all squishy, mushy, flavors blended, you know this thang was right up my alley.

Ok so maybe it's not for everyone - as Erk reminded me. Meaning, I had enough falafel cake for a party of 10 to get through all by myself.

I ate falafel for 2 out of three meals daily for 3 days. It was not a wise choice. My belly's still a little pissed. Was it the copious amounts of salt? Legume overload? Just...density fail? Who knows, dear readers - but I advise against creating this monster unless you have brave pals around to help you consume it.

Those hot pink bits? Pickled turnips. Get yee some from yee local middle-eastern grocer - they're amazing.

Busy busy...

And slowly, surely, things are falling into place.

I have a spot for my coffee grinder. Lazy susans for the RIDIC amount of spices I keep. A fridge that has a friggin' ice dispenser (oh ya, movin' on up!!). Basically, I'm warning you - a flood of kitchen porn is about to hit NFP, so avert your eyes, if you're sensitive to such utterly domestic stuffs.

Meanwhile, at a gorgeous house just off Providence, my first vegan/gluten free (well, almost) dinner party was thrown with success, nervousness, and finally, relief.

Challenging, cooking, warming, plating and serving 12 people all at once, all by my lonesome, good LORDY. And I didn't, even - one of the sweet girls attending helped me bus between 1st and 2nd course - because I was slinging polenta and ragu in the kitchen and totally forgot that salad plates, once divested of greens, want to get to the sink.

Still, people seemed happy. Even the elbow I almost landed on someone's nose while pouring water - no biggie.

3 courses and an app, here's what we noshed:

If I could only do these, every day, in perpetuity, I think I'd have found my true calling. We'll see.

The dessert wasn't quite as GF as I'd originally intended - and since this was the end of a 3 week program that involved abstaining from all alcohol, refined sugar, caffiene, animal products, and wheat, and people were in the mood to indulge, I snuck some refined sugar and flour in there. Tsk tsk. Note to self - coconut whipped cream must stay chilled until the last possible moment, or it loses it's integrity. I'd have preferred mine a bit fluffier.

Salads are salads, and this group had been eating tons of greens for weeks. Pistachios were nice, soft, slightly sweet. Contrasted with the mustard rather well.

You guys have seen me pull ye old ragu trick many times before - but not quite as healthfully as this night. Ground mushrooms and fava beans formed the base of the sauce -

- along with lots of roasted cherry tomatoes -

- broth, spices, and a cup of bourbon, and we've got some happy vegans. Collarded kale shreds on the side. Pattypans overfilled with rich cashew cheese mixed with herbs and farro. They were good, but as they usually are, a bit tough. It's not often the veggies get to grab a steak knife - but they did, that night.

Got two more planned this upcoming month. Stay tuned! Cheers!

For the Love of Injera

You know the stuff - floppy, covered in moon-scape mini-craters, tart, pancakey, delish. Awesomely and coincedentally - gluten-free!

You can get it fresh in Crown Town in piles of 8. 8 is a LOT of injera to get through, if it's only the two of you. We do our best.

I'm working on my Ethiop cooking skills - done the basics a few times now, and I think I'm improving. I don't feel any pressing need since we have some seriously awesome joints in town that are super veg friendly, but still, I tinker.

The only thing missing here are the tarty, stinky collards you find in a standard veggie combo. Because I still can't get Erk to dig on them greens. Sigh.

I also cheated and added braised tempeh to the regular Yetakelt W'et recipe I've made a number of times for a client - it was deeeelish and substantial. Being Indonesian in origin, I dunno if tempeh's made it over to Africa, so this is a non-traditional alteration. But hey, all in the name of sick deliciousness so it's aiiight.

Yetakelt W'et aka Ethiopian Vegetable Stew with Braised Tempeh

1/4 cup coconut oil
1 cake tempeh, cubed
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium carrot, chunked
1 handful green beans
2 red potatoes, diced
1 cup chopped mushrooms
1 large red onion, chopped
6 cloves garlic, minced
1.5 tablespoon berbere spices (Cedarland carries a 7 spice mix I like, consult your local Middle Eastern grocery store for this delicious stuff or buy it here)
1 tablespoon smoked paprika
1 large tomato, chopped
1/4 cup tomato paste
1.5 - 2 cups vegetable stock or water
salt to taste
minced parsley and scallion, 2 tablespoons each

I start by roasting all my veggies. You can braise your tempeh simultaneously.

Heat oven to 450f. Toss all your veggies, sans tomato, with the olive oil, some salt, and 2 cloves worth of your garlic. Spread on a pizza or baking pan, put a rack at oven bottom, and stick those suckers in there for 15 minutes or so, tossing every 5. Add a little water after the first and second tosses, to steam the taters a bit.

Toss your tempeh with a little sesame or coconut oil, some salt or bragg's, black pepper and 1 clove of the garlic. Feeling fiesty? Dust with berbere.

Set the tempeh in a baking dish in a single layer, add enough water (or veggie stock, if you've got some laying around) to just barely cover the tempeh, and stick it in the oven with the veggies. You want to give it at least 15 minutes to steam/braise, to get rid of the bitter taste tempeh often has. Ideally, all your liquid'll be gone - but it isn't necessary.

So, onto the stewing. Heat your coco oil in a deep pot and add onion and garlic. Saute 2 minutes. Add berbere and paprika, toss and toast a bit. Add your tomatoes and paste - stir and cook 4-5 minutes, until the fresh maters have softened. Now just scrape the entire baking pan of veggies into your pot, and add a cup of stock. Add your tempeh. You want a thick stew, but some sauce to sop with that amazing injera - add stock until the consistancy is reached.

Stir in your salt, parsley and scallion.

Deeeelish. Try this recipe for lentils - and a simple salad of tomato, cuke, lettuce, garlic, parsley and lemon - and feast like a king.

My first attempt at Buticha was kinda fail.

Too heavy handed with the berbere, not a long enough chilling time, the texture was weird. Flavor, too salty, too spicy (YUP I said it).

What am I talking about? This scrambled-egg like dish (sometimes referred to as "fasting eggs" ha!) I always scarf tons of when it's out on buffet. Made with chickpea or fava flour, some chili, mysterious mysterious, usually it's let sit overnight to solidify and then "scrambled" to a light, fluffy texture in the morning.

There was no fluffy in my buticha. I will not be discouraged! I will try again!

Cheers, dears :)

Spanikopita - cashew cheese edition.

I've done the vegan, tofu-mash Spanikopita countless times, and enjoyed each permutation (with capers and roasted garlic rather than dill/mint/parsley, sundried tomatoes and smoked eggplant in addition, just the regs, you name it). Very light, soft, juicy. Not too shabby.

But methinks I've ruined that recipe for myself. Because veeg spanikopita is sooooo much better with cashew cheese.

There's a richness in this recipe that satisfies in a way that tofu cannot - it's heavy, decadent, creamy. If it's been a while since you've had Feta in your 'Opita, you'll love this. If it hasn't, you'll love it too - and be surprised at how parallel the flavors and textures are.

Now that I've made this a couple of times, in a couple of formats, my so-far-fav is the purse. In a casserole, the bottom layers of phyllo get a tad tough - making it a little annoying to cut and serve. This could be the lack of heated butterfat soaking through - hmmm.

Pursifying the spinach/herb/cheese mix makes for gorgeous presentation and gives your peeps options - filling alone, filling with pastry, or both, with a smidge of sauce. I love this sauce with "classic" 'Opita. It's a sweet, aromatic stew, and off-sets the tang of the cheese nicely.

One more tip - when constructing your purses, let your unwrapped dough sit out under two moistened paper towels for 10 minutes or so before beginning. The dough needs to be pretty soft to scrunch into a purse closure without breaking. The top sheet closest to the  paper towels might get a tad soggy - toss it, if so.

Classic Spanikopita with Cashew Cheese
makes 8-10 purses, 2 purses a serving

1/2 package thawed phyllo pastry
1.5 cups cashew cheese (the same mixture used in this recipe)
1 large back baby spinach
6 cloves garlic, minced
4 scallions, green parts only, minced
Additional lemon juice, a squeeze or two (optional)
2 tablespoons each - fresh parsley and dill, minced, plus 1 tsp freshly minced mint
Olive oil
Lots of freshly ground black pepper
8-10 chive shoots, the longest/sturdiest of the bunch

You'll need a large cutting board and a pastry brush.

First, blanch your spinach and rinse with cold water. Squeeze thoroughly and chop fine, scrape into a large bowl. Add all of the other ingredients sans pastry and toss well. Add a little olive oil and lemon juice until the texture is that of thick ricotta - you want some moisture, but not too much.

Preheat oven to 350f.

Lay out one sheet of phyllo on a large cutting board and brush generously with olive oil. Lay another sheet on top. Brush again with olive oil. Lay one more sheet on top.

Use a plate that will fit twice on each pastry sheet and cut it's diameter twice with a sharp knife, discarding scraps. Pile 2-3 tablespoons of filling in the center of the phyllo circle, gently lift the flat pastry into your palm, and using your hand as a mold, scrunch the phyllo into a purse shaped package, twisting the top gently to get it to close.

Place on an oiled baking sheet. Repeat until you've used up your filling and bake pastries for 15 minutes or so, until they're golden brown.

That supercute flower above is actually a chive flower, awesome right? I NEVER let my chives go long enough to flower so this sneaky little bud was a rad surprise. Anyway - grab a chive and carefully tie it in a loose knot around your purses' neck. Serve on top of a ladle of sauce.

Classy, spring-timey, and most importantly - DEELISH.

Mad, Tasty Science

Have I ever told you guys? How I've never owned a non-stick pan?

Well, this weekend, that long streak of teflon-free cookery was broken. And it's all because of this crepe recipe. Which, of course, I had to de-glutenize - so instead of flour, I used Bob's AP and Tapioca Starch, plus a tsp of xantham gum, and subbed vegetable oil for EB - but coconut oil would rule too (anyone noticed the love Coco oil's getting these days? so awesome).

So it's a different recipe. But the results are just as nom.

Oh yes, I tried with my trusty cast iron skillet. The one I've always, gleefully, laughingly made super-thin, delicate crepes with. But alas - things stuck, caramelized, adhered. And so I caved to the gods of Modern Cookware and bought me a pan.

They're just like regular crepes - except they're vegan, gluten free, and contain no refined sugars.

Nom.

Between the layers of crepey goodness, there's tons of strawberry agave jam and hazelnut carob sauce (a take on faux Nutella sans Chocolate via Veganland). Flavors were different, but enjoyable just the same. Abstinant but decadent. Awesome.

V,GF,NRS Crepes
makes 8-10 - double if making a crepe cake
de-glutenized from this recipe by VeganNumNum, amounts adjusted

2/3 cup Bob's All Purpose GF Flour
1/3 cup Tapioca starch
1/3 cup agave syrup (omit if using these for a savory dish)
Dash salt
1 tsp xantham gum
1 cup soy or almond milk
1/2 cup water
1/3 cup vegetable oil, melted EB, or coconut oil, warmed
1/2 tsp sugar-free vanilla essence (optional - this stuff can be hard to find)

Coco oil, for the pan (yes, use a little even on your non-stick, these things are CRANKY)

We're doing this in a blender, dears, so grab yours!

Dump it all in there and blend for 5 minutes, until everything is super incorporated. Check consistency - you're hoping for melted milkshake thickness. A good way to check - dip your finger in the batter, it should be coated to near-opaqueness with a thin, bubbly coat.

Chill your batter, covered, for at least 4 hours or overnight.

Warm your non-stick pan over medium heat and throw a 1/2 tsp of coconut oil in there, swish around. Grab a 1/3 cup measuring cup, fill it, grab the pan with your left hand, and pour at the top of the pan, swirling quickly, until the batter has circled and coated the entire bottom of your pan. If you didn't quite make it around, you might need to thin the batter just a little bit with more water/soymilk. You can also pour just a little more batter in, quickly, to repair the crepe.

It can be tricky getting the batter to coat the pan when using oil - but trust me, it'll prevent disaster. You'll get the hang of it after a couple, and any misshapen crepes can be hind in the midst of the cake!

Cook these guys at medium heat for 4-5 minutes on side one, another 2 minutes on side two. They will be browned on the first side - which is tasty and fine. They don't become chewy or crispy, as there's no gluten. Stack them on a plate as you go - no worries, they'll be fine.

I used about 1 1/2 cups of strawberry agave jam (2 large containers strawberries, juice of one lemon, 1/2 cup agave, simmered) and 1 cup agave-sweetened hazelnut spread. I dusted each layer with carob as I went, as well as over the top. And spooned the leftover, thickened strawberry syrup all over the place too.

Good. Can make healthy claims. Do try. Happy Late Easter!

I like to party.

And I love bringing food to parties.

It started out when I did a lot of hanging with a particularly non-soy-friendly crowd in NYC - I knew there'd be bacon in everything people brought to whatever potluck/shindig was getting crammed into someone's incredibly tiny apt, so I'd play it like I was going to anyway - you know, I just had this vegan lasagna in the fridge and it needed to get eaten.

Over time, I've developed preferences for party-friendly food. It can't look confusing - ingredients should be evident. Small is good - one hand probably has a drink in it. Slimy, gooey textures scare people off (I learned this after making a crock pot full of Swedish Meatballs for a cocktail party that people would stare at suspectfully as they walked by, like some meatball amoeba was about to pour forth and consume them). Basically, it stands to reason that if you can get everything you want people to taste in a single bite (maybe two), that's the best way to go.

That's not to say I'm above standing at the wedding buffet, scooping pounds of spinach/artichoke dip onto a plate waaaay to small to hold the steaming mass, but if I'm the one at the wheel, things usually get tiny and complicated. Anyway.

Hello, burrito sushi.

Fiesta time, mi mujeres y hombres. You might think nori + salsa = weird, and you'd be right. But goodweird.

This is a pretty straightforward recipe - just make a batch of sushi rice but treat it like this recipe for yellow oats - some faux-chicken (or real, if you're so inclined) stock, saffron, garlic, a dash of turmeric for color.

Then, for the filling -

Queso Fresco (vegan darlings - try some Daiya OR crumble a teeny bit of firm tofu, toss with lemon juice, nutritional yeast, salt and garlic powder)
Refried Black Beans
Salsa (mine's simple - handful cilantro, one large tomato diced fine, 2 cloves garlic, minced, 1/3 medium red onion diced fine as well, half a lime's juice, 1 fresh jalapeno, again, fine dice, salt and pepper to taste)
Sour cream (again, darlings - I love this recipe for Soy Sour Cream, give it a whirl or just leave it out!)
Shredded Lettuce
Avocado

- being as conservative as possible. I used about 3/4 - 1 tablespoon of each filling, and still ended up with jumbo rolls.

As long as you don't add any oil or fat to the rice, it'll maintain its stickiness enough so that you don't have to add vinegar/sugar.

Just a piece of advice - if you're making these for 5-6 hours in the future (and especially if they're sitting overnight) double wrap these rolls with nori.

Burrito Sushi Rice

makes enough for 6 rolls

2 cups short grained white rice ("sushi" rice) washed
3 1/2 cups water mixed with 2 cubes faux-chicken boillion
1 tablespoon garlic, minced
1 tablespoon safflower
1 1/2 teaspoon turmeric powder

Boil the broth and seasonings and add rice, stir, and cover. Simmer over low heat for 20 minutes. Let sit 10, uncover and stir, and cool (either on the stove, or if you're anxious to get burrito-sushi makin, in the freezer).

I totally made a batch a couple weeks ago (because I had a ton of fajita making leftovers and wanted to do something weird with them, you know how it is) with standard sushi rice and they were decent. Flavoring the rice really makes this shine, however.

Slice, drizzle with hot sauce, skewer with festive toothpicks, and serve.

Seitan with Coriander Peppercorn Crust

This is totally a "Me Too! Meee Tooooooo!!!" dish.

Veggies get left outta some really delish holiday cooking traditions - Ham at Xmas, Turkey at Thanksgiving, Lamb on Easter, and let's not forget Corned Beef 'n Cabbage on St. Frat-er-Patty's Day. Are there myriad delish, less carnagey things to eat on those hallowed days? Yes. But sometimes, it's killer to slice into a roast - carving knife in hand, two-pronged fork carefully distributing pieces of (in this case) a savory, peppery loaf of wheat protein. Retro in a 70s cookbook kinda way.

For moi, this is also a memory meal - 9 years old, at my girl Heather's house (the same year I learned that trespassing in a tree nursery guarded by a 90 pound Rottweiler is a good way to end up with a hole in the bottom of yer pants), her wiry/red haired Ma pulling tons of cabbage and beef out of their seemingly hot-tub-sized crock pot. Beef was not something we ate much of at my house, so it was a pretty exotic meal, and this year, I decided to try it veg-style.

And thus we have Crock Pot Cabbage and Corned Seitan
serves 4, easily

for the seitan:
Dry mix:
2 1/2 cups vital wheat gluten
1/2 cup tapioca flour
1/4 cup soy flour
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
3 tablespoons veggie beef boullion powder (like dees)
Tons of freshly ground black pepper

Wet mix:
1/2 cup water blended with 10 cloves roasted garlic until the garlic completely dissolves
4 tablespoons earthbalance, melted
2 tablespoons flavorful olive oil
2 tablespoons tamari
1 tablespoon molasses

Crust:
1/4 cup black peppercorns
1/4 cup whole coriander seeds
1/2 cup all purpose flour
Oil - aerosol form preferred, but you can gently brush the roast with a basting brush if you need to.


to accompany:
1 large head green cabbage, cut into 6ths
4 large carrots
4 medium potatoes, pricked all over with a fork


for the crock pot:
1/2 cup dark beer
4 cups water mixed with 4 tablespoons veggie beef boullion or tamari (or more water - depends on the size of your pot. If you increase, stick with the 1 tablespoon tamari or stock to each cup water ratio)
4 sprigs parsley
2 bouquet garni made from 1 tablespoon black peppercorns, 1 tablespoon coriander seeds, 1 tsp celery seeds, and a couple whole cloves each - either wrap them in cheesecloth or use a tea bag

Phew. Looks far more complicated than it is, trust me! Let's go.

Mix your dry seitan ingredients in a medium mixing bowl and blend your wet ingredients together in your blender. As you massage with your left hand, slowly pour the wet into the dry and, using both hands now, knead the seitan until it is uniformly blended and comes together into a loaf.

Put your carrots in the bottom of your pot and sit the seitan on top of them. Add your bouquets, potatoes, parsley and cabbage, nestling them in around the seitan.

Pour your tamari or stock/water mix over everything, and your beer. You want to start with cold water so the seitan has a chance to brine a little bit. Make sure that the top of the loaf is covered.

Check for salt levels - the surrounding broth should have a slightly salty taste. Cover and cook on low for 4 hours.

Preheat your oven to 375f.

Pull the seitan out of the pot carefully and let dry just a little bit on a cutting board over the sink. Whiz your peppercorns and coriander in a blender or spice grinder until it's pretty fine, but not powdery. Dust the seitan  with the flour and rub it in just a little, then press your peppercorn/coriander into the crust. Spray lightly with your aerosol oil, put the loaf into a oiled baking pan, and bake for 45 minutes, occasionally spraying it with more oil.

Looks a bit like an asteroid... a delicious asteroid.

Slice thin and serve with the taters, cabbage and carrots. The EarthBalance gives this a slightly more tender, softer texture than using purely oil. Very tasty. Don't be afraid to reduce a bit of the cooking liquid with a little cornstarch for a simple gravy, if you'd like.

Crunchy, savory, lovely. Enjoy my darlings!

Beyond Butterdome - Twice Baked Potato Pie

Ya'll know I love me the healthy eats, but sometimes, you gotta put some butter in there. And sometimes Some is The Entire Stick.

I've had my share of twice baked 'taters - as a kid, I ate tons of the frozen ones (were they Ore Ida? Don't remember). I've had the casserole once or twice - and thought it so un-textural that it was kinda weird. Like eating sauce with nothing under it. Not in a good way.

So instead of wasting all of those fibrous, tasty, browned skins, I chopped 'em fine, seasoned 'em, and turned them into a crust, sort of. There aren't a lot of things going for 'taters nutritionally, but whatever they have is in them skins, so eating them's a good idea, especially if you're eating a half-stick of butter in addition. And cheese. And cream. Oh boy.

Twice Baked Potato Pie

4 pounds Yukon Gold potatoes, washed, pricked all over with a fork
1 stick butter 
1 cup sharp cheddar, smoked gouda, whatever cheese you prefer, grated
1 cup sour cream
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup whole milk or cream
Salt and white pepper to taste
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp each dried parsley, chives
Dash onion and garlic powder
Butter, for the casserole 

a 13 x 9 baking pan, or 9 x 9 x 4 deep baking dish

Just looking at that list of ingredients makes me wince, but let's do this.

Preheat the oven to 350f. Depending on the size of your taters, bake for 1:15 - 1:30, until they're soft when poked. Cool 15 minutes.

Slice them in half, and using a spoon, scoop the flesh into a bowl. Add butter, sour cream, cheese, milk, salt and pepper and garlic, and mash well. You want them soft, airy, so don't over mash, and add a little water if you feel they're too thick. Using an electric beater, whip them for a couple minutes to aerate. Fold in your egg and set aside.

Butter your casserole dish.

Mince the potato skins well, and add the dried herbs and onion and garlic powders. Salt them a teeny bit and press them into the bottom of the casserole, making a crust.

Spoon the mashed potato mix over the potato skins, smoothing the top with a spatula. Bake for an hour, or until the middle has puffed and there's brown in spots.

Serve with sauteed Bok Choy or another light side. If you make the 'role ahead, you can slice it into squares and reheat gently for an Hors d'œuvre. Delish.

If you love 'em, feed 'em.

A repetitive theme in my life - feeding people I like. They don't even have to be friends. If there's pal potential, I'm bringing a plate of deviled eggs. Or making something ridic with seitan. Or putting the Cocktail Kit in the car.

I think this all started with Food Not Bombs, back in the day - 5 or 6 of us piling into some tiny kitchen, making a huge pot of veggie chili out of donated materials, taking it to a park to feed the Anonymous Hungry. Did we eat more of it than they did? Probably. But still, that desire to feed whoever was around and cool, this is perhaps where it started for me.

So surely, on V day, I had a plan - we were gonna eat something a little more complex than the meh SFLA fare we'd been noshing all weekend (oh nachos with Cheez Whiz, I'm still remembering you with disgust). I wanted some gnocchi, some sharp garlic tang, some tofu. And so we ate all three - Stuffed Tofu Parmesan, Ricotta Gnocchi, and this simple ditty I call Bruschetta Sauce - tomatoes, tons tons tons of garlic, spinach, agua. Vamanos.

Opulence, in food, for moi, often comes down to bounty - how many different vegetables are involved with the dish? The more the better, so says I. And the more disparate the preps, the more fun the consumption becomes.

So there's at least 5, 6 if you count the half-bushel of Parsley involved in this mess. Glorious veggies, will you be my Valentines?

The tofu was a take off on this recipe - the dirty-fi-cation of Soy Cake - only I added lots of parm to the breading mix, and dredged the stuffed cakes in flour, then egg first. I'd used a paring knife to slice pockets, carefully stuffing them with soy sausage, chopped, dried mushrooms, and asiago cheese, after marinating the 'Fu in a teeny bit of smoked salt, water, and sesame oil. You can bake these or fry them - frying is quicker by about 20 minutes, so that's what I did, keeping them warm in the oven while the Gnocchi came together.

This recipe is good, but basic - add herbs, truffle oil, garlic, stinky cheese, whatever you need to pump the flavors a bit. Nutmeg is optional IMHO - such a bright flavor, it pairs oddly with garlic, so I left it out this time. I had a hunk of gradually-hydrating Tomato Powder (even though it's been kept in a sealed ziploc, the stuff is still a Mars-looking red rock at this point) that I grated a bit over each ricotta cloud before plating. Looked cool.

But let's be honest. Mostly, this meal was an excuse to make Garlic Monkey Bread.

Erik's Ma pulls out this King Arthur kit on Saturday and goes to town with a mixer and a bundt pan and out comes the best thing we ate all weekend - Pecan and Brown Sugar Monkey Bread. Awesome, gooey, sugarbomb, butterbomb, memorable. And my little cheese-obsessed brain immediately says, "Ooooooh, I've got to try this with garlic and Parm".

So we did, and it was awesome. Better than your fav garlic rolls. Better than MY fav garlic rolls. Warm, crusty, chewy, messy, good-god-I-could-eat-this-whole-thingy.

(You're probably wondering how I kept my hands off for 10 minutes to take these shots, amirite? Well let me tell you. It tried the very depths of my soul's patience. And I popped it back in the oven for 5 before noshing)

Garlic, Parsley and Parmesan Monkey Bread

1 pkg active dry yeast
1 tsp sugar
2 cups bread flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon salt

2/3 cup parmesan cheese, grated
3 tablespoons freshly minced parsley
Black pepper, tons
Scallions, 4, minced (optional)
10 cloves garlic, crushed, minced

1/4 cup butter (oh ya.)

A bundt pan - mine was 2.8 liters (which I ran out and randomly purchased from this awesome little store), but this recipe is a little flexible - a smaller pan will produce a taller loaf.

Let's do this.

In your stand mixer bowl, pour one cup warm water. Add your yeast and mix. After a minute or two, add your sugar and mix well - let stand 5 minutes.

Add salt, then while mixing, gradually add your flours. Use a scraper to push the mass into the bread hooks and let it run 5-6 minutes, until a firmish dough has formed. Let the dough stand for 15 minutes, then knead another 2-3 minutes, until the dough's "skin" is slightly shiny. Remove to an oiled bowl, cover, and let your dough rise for an hour.

Mix cheese, herbs, salt and pepper in a small bowl. Melt your butter in a small saucepan and set aside.

Preheat the oven to 400f.

Turn out your dough onto a very lightly floured board and cut into 1 1/2 inch squares using a sharp knife. I ended up with about 25 pieces. Roll them in your palm, dip into the butter, then dip into the cheese mix, rubbing the mix around the entire piece. Place in your buttered bundt pan. Continue until your dough has been used up, filling the pan evenly and flatly.

Let the dough rise another 15-20 minutes, until about doubled. Bake for 30-35 minutes, until the top of the bread is browning.

Now, I had to carefully use a spoon to separate some of the bread from the pan before turning out - the cheese stuck a teeny bit. Do so if you aren't using non stick. Then grab a large plate, put it over your pan, and flip the whole mess over, tapping the bundt pan to release.

Great googly mooglies, was this good. Dipping sauce (which for us was leftover bruschetta sauce, but standard red would be awesome as well) is essential. Enjoy!

Chilaquile Pie - awesome with Mole Tofu.

A cross between Tortilla Pie and Quiche, this combination of corn tortillas, eggs, queso fresco and assorted veggies is soft, make-aheadable, and delicately tasty. I had a serious Mole craving this week and this was the perfecto side to all that rich, chocolately sauce. Try it as a brunch side with scrambled eggs! Or even go nuts and stick a fried egg on top (or in between layers, ooooooh)!

Chilaquile Pie

20 corn tortillas, soft taco size
4 eggs
1/2 cup sour cream
1/4 cup milk
Salt and pepper
1/2 pound queso fresco, sliced thin
1 poblano pepper, roasted, peeled, sliced
1 zucchini, slced to rounds
2 cloves garlic
6 leaves epazote, minced
Parsley and chives, 1 tablespoon each, minced

Preheat oven to 375f.

In a skillet, saute your garlic, epazote, parsley and chives in 2 tablespoons olive oil and lay the zucchini in the pan in a single layer. Press them down with a spatula, cover, and sear over high heat 2 minutes. Flip and get the other side. Remove to plate to cool.

Grease a 9 x 4 inch loaf pan or baking pan. Tear your tortillas into triangles. On the bottom, layer 12-14 pieces of tortilla in a complete layer - scatter poblano pepper over. Layer more tortilla pieces, then the queso fresco in a single layer. More tortilla pieces, then the zucchini. Use up your tortillas for the top layer.

Whisk or blend eggs, sour cream, salt, milk, and pepper in a bowl and carefully, slowly pour over the casserole, letting the mix trickle through the layers. Let sit 20 minutes to absorb a tad bit.

Bake for 30-40 minutes, until center has puffed. Cool.

We noshed our CP with Tofu Mole - fried blocks of marinated tofu stuffed with roasted Pepitas, a little queso, and diced mushrooms, atop a ladleful of this well-loved mole recipe. A little sour cream on top of the Chilaquile Pie was the finishing touch - a filling, delicious meal.

Retro recipe - Baked Cheddar Olives

I used to hate themed parties - but the cocktail party I went to this weekend was fabulous. Everyone looked stunning, in early-to-mid-60s garb and three piece black suits, carefully popping bits of olive and cheese into their mouths, holding a cocktail with their free hand. And even though I've seen maybe one episode in totality, I could appreciate the style and grace of a Mad Men themed gathering.

Being what I predicted would be the only two vegetarians amongst the bunch (not true - there was a third!) I figured we should bring some nosh. So I perused my thrifted cookbook collection and settled on three - Baked Chedar Olives, Swedish Meatballs, and Mushroom Stroganoff in Puff Pastry.

The second two are simple - for the Swedish Balls, I used TJ's frozen Meatless Meatballs, a bottle of grape jelly, and a bottle of Heinz Chili Sauce. Mix, put it in a crock pot or electric fondue pot, toothpicks on the side, finito. For the Stroganoff, I made a thick version of this dish with finely minced rehydrated mushrooms and plopped 1.5 tsp of the stew onto the middle of squares of TJ's puff pastry. Bake on a greased sheet at 400f for 15 minutes. Oila!

The olives were a little more fiesty, but totally worth it - little green salt bombs surrounded by, basically, a Cheez It. Lovely and awesome with beer. Give 'em a whirl next time you're going for salt overload.

Baked Cheddar Olives

2 cups shredded mild cheddar
1 cup flour
Garlic powder, onion powder, and cayenne to taste - about 1 tsp of each
4 tablespoons butter, softened

1 jar pimento stuffed olives - about 36 should do it, drained and dried on paper towels

In a bowl, massage the butter into the cheese until well mixed, then add flour, and continue working the dough with your hands until it is blended and soft.

Take about a tablespoon of dough and press it flat into the center of your palm, somewhat thinly. Put an olive in the center of the dough and cup your palm, and thus the dough, around the olive. Carefully blend the edges together, covering the olive completely. Repeat until the olives are gone.

Chill wrapped olives in the freezer for 15 minutes while your oven heats.

Bake the olives in the top of the oven for 12-14 minutes until the dough has crisped and is somewhat golden. They'll pool a little bit around the olives but should retain a circular shape.

Cool and serve!

...and a Partridge in a Pear Tree.

It's funny how entwined food is in my family's holiday traditions. Sometimes, I think it's all my fault.

We aren't Thanksgiving people. We aren't even Christmas people. We're remarkably a-religious - whatever it is we're celebrating when we get together around my ma's big, wooden dining table, it's totally secular. Maybe that's why Fondue Christmas Eve is such a big deal. And it's definitely why I take cooking on Christmas Day so seriously. Like, unwrap the prezzies, have a nibble, and get to work seriously. Part of it is that I have some reluctantly vegetarian relatives, and converting them, even for one night, is a challenge.

This year was made awesomer by Sous Chef Erk playing such a big role. First meal we've conquered together, start to finish. I love that guy.

So, some hot pics:

My ma set up a table in the "studio" complete with multiple light sources and cute, formerly-Guatemalan-wall-hanging placemats for a quick shot before we dug in. Awesomemom.

Yeah, we partied like it was 1974. This was fo sho' an anti-minimalist spread - 7 separately prepared items on one plate, swimming in Bourbon-Fennel Ragu. Tasty, but intense. Counter-clockwise: Lemon-Thyme Roasted Fingerlings, Garlic Braised Baby Bok Choy and Pea Shoots, Pickled Green Tomatoes, Bourbon Ragu, Smoked Cheese Grits, Whipped Honey-Butter. We did some biscuits, too, to go with the extra butter.

The base was kind of a combination of these two meals - savory, cheesy, buttery grits topped by a thin, brothy sauce with a lot of oomph. Those were two of my favorite meals from this year, so I wanted to show it off to the fam. And anything is improved by spooning it over a pillow of hot grits. Of course, in the grit cake recipe, you chill the grits so that you can shape them - but they're just as amazing fresh out of the pot.

And then there was the Maple-Pecan Crusted Tempeh on top.

1 cake tempeh (enough to feed 2)
2 tablespoons maple syrup
2 tablespoons butter
1 tsp mushroom stock concentrate or 2 tsp soy sauce
Lots of freshly ground black pepper
Dash smoked salt (or regular)
1 clove garlic, crushed, then minced
2 tablespoons crushed Pecans

Toast your pecans in a dry skillet for 2 minutes, tossing, until nicely browned and fragrant. Set aside.

Mix syrup, stock or soy sauce, salt, garlic, and pepper in a measuring cup.

Boil water in a large, wide stock pot. Set a colander over the pot and place your tempeh, sliced to fit, if necessary, in the colander. Cover with a lid and towel and steam for 10 minutes, flipping once.

Melt butter in a iron skillet and press tempeh into butter. Sear for 2 minutes on each side over medium-high heat. Add your syrup mixture and cook 1-1.5 minutes, then flip the cake, coating the other side with the syrup as well, and continue to cook, flipping, until both sides have a nicely browned crust.

Press your pecans onto the seared tempeh, using enough pressure to get them to adhere. Slice and serve.

 The leathery, deeply smokey ragu complimented the maple and pecan flavors nicely, methinks. Give it a whirl, and let me know how it goes!

ALSO! If you'd like to brag about the delicious nosh you and yours ete over the Holidays, you know I'd love to hear all about it.